A year ago I couldn't imagine my life to be like this, that's for sure.
Mostly I have changed inside or just got stronger.
I go for thing I believe is right and common to my inside substance no matter how many people's trust and like I loose and still are loosing..
If one day it turns out than I have been terribly wrong by going for my belief, I hope for forgiveness, because that's what should be written in every ones heart. But right now this word just do not exist.. But I do ask for forgiveness to those who have met my stubborn side. I am sorry, but I ether stand alone with my truth than try to fit and be accepted to everyone around me. Even if I have to stand alone, I will be fearless and go for things I believe is right. You can like me or do not. The choice is yours.
quite strong photo, but that's the ugly truth.
January 2012 I went to Stockholm for weekend just to get away from all routine. I was so tired to try all the time and do not succeed to reach my aim. I was tired of fighting with myself. I was tired of being me and being in given situation.
It felt right to leave it all behind just for a little while. Even if it took only a one and half day. I got on the boat and tried to understand the feeling I had. I remember, it felt scary, safe ,right and little bit amazing in same way. I did something I never thought I could be able to, because there was always someone who stops me and made me to think with head.. but sometimes you have to listen to your heart. I took a crazy decision , I climbed over my own build theory than I will not be able, I will not be strong enough to be on my own.
And here is the barley beginning of the new-old me you see today.
June 2012. I had one of the most awesome opportunity to live in the little cottage by the sea. Here I took almost all photos for gallery
Slowly dying Sunset.
One late afternoon I took my violin, sat down at the beach and played. It was like a cookie for soul. Writing this down makes my body so exalted than I wanna do it again! Like something makes me miss my violin right now. Fingers wanna touch the strings, soul wants to disappear into the sound and I wanna close my eyes and feel the warm evening breeze all over my body again. Wanna get lost into the sound and forget about everything else. I wanna play out loud all my sadness and kindness I have. I wanna play out loud myself.
And this was the Sunset that day. Beautiful.
December 2012 I went to the Warberg Goalie Camp. Whole way to Varberg by my self. Learned the basics and probably most important lessons about goal tending. Met a lot of goalkeepers, sold my first
Blind Save knee pads. This was the end of recovering from not being goalkeeper. I think I am back. I am on right track and more or less I have overcome my mental issues. "
The Goalkeeper should do what a Goalkeeper have to do: To be a Goalkeeper." / Cherry Lauma
I will trust myself and go the path I will/have choose. I will be okej.
hugs,
Cherry Lauma
