Vacation time is almost over for most of the people. I heard already than it have been too short. True, right? Why it's always too short?
Vacation is good. You can spend a lot of time with your family, with your crazy and not that crazy friends or maybe just lay on beach and enjoy the sunbath and warm air on every inch of your skin.
To be with myself and not only, fallow my dreams and passion, small adventures, take the break from routine and enjoy morning sleeps, that's what I had done in my very first vacation in few years. Why's that? Well, it's simple. I had loved what I did in my previous job even if it was summer time. And still is.
God have gave us a gifts for one and each of us. Some is good at singing, some are very good athlete, some are great with fixing things and some are good at breaking them :) well I meant some are good at one specific thing and some are not, but it don't make us worse, because we always have our own gift what other don't have. And if we put them all together, we are one unit.
If you have a pain in your hand all your body is gonna feel sick. When it heals, all body suddenly feels good again. That's how we are.
It's very important to understand the meaning of being the best and do your best. When you want to be the best, almost in all of cases the jealousy comes into the game. But we don't want that. To do your best always will means than you have done more than you could and might ever imagine. Don't try to fight for something (compete with other) what you are not so good at, but you can always do your best. In sports, with your friends or at job. If you do your best, you have competed yourself.
Once I had this situation at work where I had been told or actually asked rhetorical question: Why can't I be like others?
I was too craven too say exactly what I thought, because I like this person very much and I was shocked. You should never ask to a person to be like anyone else. Never! And that, probably, was my biggest mistake, I wasn't like anyone else.
I know, I like to be different, I like to say what I think, I like to stand for my truth, I like to say truth, I love to do my best, I love to help people even if I know I am doing it for nothing, I love to push myself over the limits, but that's who I am. And that was my "problem". The most of the people liked the way I did things, but still, it's lonely to stand there alone, be understood, but always be the only one across the comfort zone.
If someone might put his hand on my shoulder, look into my eyes and say- lets's do it together with no doubts in his heart, that might be a revolution! But we wasn't ready.
But maybe I am too crazy even talking like this! I don't know.. Sometimes it's feel so lonely. But I have the greatest excuse ever: I am a goalkeeper.
You see, the fighter as I am, I fight until I burn out. Maybe stupid, but I don't care. I fight until my soul starts to cry. For a time I was trying to denied that, but at the end common sense slap you so hard so you really lose it all and start to think over and over again. Awesome experience I got! Learned a lot. Too bad my conclusion is: to do not do your best every day, because if you do your best everyday, it's become some kind of practice and you become the best at doing your best. And after a while you become the quickest and wisest at the respective thing.. I might continue, but it just make me feel sad.. But I learned a lot. I am so grateful for that to my colleges, I do! And I feel like I haven't pushed my limits! There is so much place where to grow! If I could have a chance, very special chance included the comfort zone.. who knows.. it's just a dream now.
I decided to leave.
And that's the new chapter for my new life: I am moving to new city, new team. Team is helping me to found a new job and accommodation. I feel like everything is going to be okej.
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CherryLauma
CherryLauma
