just breathe

I wish than memories could be as easy forgotten as old facebook status updates.
I wish I could delete them.
I wish crying my heart out could be just a sign that my period is coming.
I should eat something.
I should start to eat again as athletes do. Am I still an athlete?
I am loosing my muscle weight. I should practice.
I don't want to.
I feel lost. Lost in a sad, kind of good way.

Hurts.
Moving on and letting go always hurts.
I wish I could stop fall in love so easy, but I don't want to be cold-hearted. I better fall in love easy than.
It hurts because it's new state of mind. To leave is never easy. Let go.. memories and all kindness stuck into heart and like a clew in throat.. I cry.

I want to cry for the last time.
I want to be loved and love back. Like a couples do.
I want to be someones first choice.

I want to leave for the last time.
Settle down and never ever leave again.
I want to find my home.
Feel safe and loved and never ever alone.
I want to get a good job and earn good money.
Buy a house.
Find a love who will stay.
Be with those who cares.
I want to calm down and see myself as I truly am.
Found peace.
I want to be happy.

I want to go home.

Do I doubt than Universe is wrong and this is just stupid change of mood? I don't.
James Morrison- the pieces don't fit anymore on spotify and opening facebook this photo jumps into my face.

Just breathe,
Cherry Lauma