I met this men playing violin in front of his home- Sweden and beautiful Dalarna. Why I dont do as him? I know I have always wanted to play in nature too... Why do I care so much what people think about me? Some will always like what I do and some dont. I can't please everyone. I wanted to get away from people who enjoyed the view same as I did.
I went to other side of the mountain, where casual people dont go. I went thru blueberry field, with tree trunks and wet and fluffy ground under my feet. Birds was singing and pure silence covered me. I sat down at the stone with view to forest. Put my knees close to my body and embrace them- myself... I just stare and let my thoughts flow...
Thoughts about our environment, people kind, my new work, the guy I like but he don't "like me back", floorball, practices, school, birds and ants, mosquito anatomy. Thoughts about how much I miss to have a car- the freedom! Thoughts about how to get one. My feature and next 4 years, probably in Falun. Floorball and goalie stuff...
- What are you doing here?I froze. Heart started to beat faster. I throw a look over my shoulder.
- Just siting and enjoying the silence... Thinking. (I smile)
- All by yourself?- (I stare at him) Sometimes it's good to get away from people. It's good for your soul.
- mhm..
- And you? I see you are running.
- Yeah, I come here every week...
- That's a good practice...
- In deed. Its beautiful here.
(He points against the horizon and by counting the mountain curves tells that he has got a little cottage there across.)
- Where are you form?
- I am from Latvia, but have been living in Sweden for 7 years. Come here to play floorball as 19 years old. I live in Mora for now.
-Oh, okej. I am from Mora too.
- So you have been running all the way here from Mora? (being sarcastic, actually)
- No, I am on vacation here. Are you playing with Kais?
- I was. Haven't got new contract yet. That's one of the subject I am thinking about... To stay ... or to leave. Seems like communication is not working. (silence) But that's not the first time. I have been playing in few more teams in Sweden and this "problem"is everywhere.- Well, you know, this is Sweden and it's just this way. But hey, listen. If they don't communicate with you, do your best at communicating with them. This is Sweden, we are not going to change.
- I don't know about that. (silence) There is always a Switzerland. (I smile and looked at him).
He looks at me and smiles back.
- Right, and with more beautiful mountains and views!
- I don't complain about this view. (silence)
- Well, it was nice to run on you. (He smiles) Hope everything will turn out fine for you!
- Thank you and watch your steps!
- (He smiles.) Bye!
- Bye.
He runs away and quickly disappear from my sight. All I saw was his curls and t-shirt with back covered in sweat. Gone.
I didn't want to start to cry but it just happened. Tears rolled down my eyes, over my cheeks and smashed into the stone. What am I going to do? Stay or go?
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