Fuck it! Supergirls does cry...
Just finished my Skype- session with mom... I am in Sweden, she is in Switzerland and rest of the family in Latvia. My little broken family...
I had never felt loneliness so strong as these previous two days. Whole Latvian Nation was celebrating Latvian Independence Day yesterday.. I shouldn't were that t-shirt of Latvian colors... just wanted to fit in while all I do is fit out. I will never be a swede. I am a Latvian.
Dreamed about my grandma yesterday.. woke up by crying in my pillow. God, I miss her! I wish I could call her! I wish I could had a chance to say how much I love her!
Why don't pack my bags and leave?
I can't.
This is my dream. And I am not done with it or more specifically it's not done with me. Leaving is easy.. I have done it more times than I should, but I guess that's has always have been a part of my journey. I have learned so much. I have felt so much. I have loved so deeply. But is my dream- playing in Sweden worth the tears I am crying now?
Yes.
I have become so strong that thought of being weak is like a wish of remedy to my soul which have never happened.
I need a hug. A masculine hug. A kiss on a forehead and my head resting on his chest, listening into his voice filling up the room of melodies I like and his fingers softly playing the rhythm on my back. Beautiful. That's another dream.
Love,
CherryLauma
CherryLauma
