For those who saw my tears today in teams dressing room:
I do wanna play. More than you can imagine. Every time when coach says the team I am focused on the sentence: in goal.. Liisa. It feels like a knife in a heart and hundreds of thoughts came into my head: Why not me? What did I wrong? Wasn't I good at goals this week? how about those cool safes I did? It doesn't matter? Do I was so tired than I was worse than she? Is it because I'm working too much? Why I care so much about work? Why?! I wish I could get 10h sleep almost every day! I wanna play! This is why I am here. This is my dream. Is this my dream to play? Than why can't I? I wanna get better answer than it's just like that. I remember last season I asked coach, why not me and I got an answer: "Because there is only one place for goalkeeper in goals.. and that's for Liisa." Imagine how it felt for me. I don't think than you can and I don't begrudge this. I hope you will never feel like I did. I hope you will never go through to this what I am experience now and I had experienced last four years. Maybe just a little bit. Sometimes it's good to sit on bench, think, and feel how much you wanna return back to your favorite position on field. Play and own the feeling than you are into the game. You are part of one and in your hands is to make a change. You are passing, you score, you play! You do what you love to do and what you have become though summer practices in strand and running tracks. Isn't it the most beautiful feeling than you have a voice and you know than you are gonna play next and next game? If I might have this feeling, I might be the best goalkeeper in World for sure. It's okej to share a place with someone but, I think, it's not okej than you don't get a feedback what should you do better and it's not okej than you don't get an acceptable answer why not you. And it feels like I am fighting alone. Falling down and rising up. Everytime. I haven't give up. I am still fighting because I wanna do what I love to do- I wanna be a goalkeeper in goals. I wanna play and give my 110% in goals. It's fun to play not sit on bench, don't you think?
If you still don't understand how it feels.. imagine this- how it might feel for team coach than someone says to him than sorry, you can't be a coach today and he can't do coaching today. Coach is the one who say's to team to have fun and enjoy the game but how it might feel for him than he is not allowed to be with team but he have to sit on public podium together with fans? I bet after the game he might be said- yes, that was okej to be aside, but I really wanted to be together with players and do coaching, because that's what I love to do.
Well, don't you think I hate myself seeing crying like a small baby about things I can't change? I do. I feel silly. I understand. I am trying to. I am still fighting. And I will fight! I wanna play! I wanna fight together with those girls who are thinking to quit after this season and I wanna bring gold home to Gotland together with them and for them! Even if coach put me on bench I will be here with them. I will suport and give my voice. I will be here beside, close and next to you. If we want to win this game it will take a courage from barley first minute until the end of game. And as Halle said we have to give our 110% tomorrow. Each of us is a star with her's own best sides and skills which putting together made us as a best Team in World. but only working together and putting trust to each other shoulders made us The One. And we are! If we wanna be the best Team in World as we said, we have to win every opponent. I heard someone said than we looked quite scared and unsure at first game. But not tomorrow, right? Trust the person who is standing/ sitting next to you. Trust her when you give your pass to her. Trust yourself than you are gonna score. Trust her than she is gonna save the goal, but don't be too careless(slarvig) in front of goal and take a shoot on yourself. Together! Don't act like a star- be one! But remember than Universe is made of stars. And that's what we are. We are Universe and we are gonna get our glow at Malmo Arena!
It's our time to Shine!
I do wanna play. More than you can imagine. Every time when coach says the team I am focused on the sentence: in goal.. Liisa. It feels like a knife in a heart and hundreds of thoughts came into my head: Why not me? What did I wrong? Wasn't I good at goals this week? how about those cool safes I did? It doesn't matter? Do I was so tired than I was worse than she? Is it because I'm working too much? Why I care so much about work? Why?! I wish I could get 10h sleep almost every day! I wanna play! This is why I am here. This is my dream. Is this my dream to play? Than why can't I? I wanna get better answer than it's just like that. I remember last season I asked coach, why not me and I got an answer: "Because there is only one place for goalkeeper in goals.. and that's for Liisa." Imagine how it felt for me. I don't think than you can and I don't begrudge this. I hope you will never feel like I did. I hope you will never go through to this what I am experience now and I had experienced last four years. Maybe just a little bit. Sometimes it's good to sit on bench, think, and feel how much you wanna return back to your favorite position on field. Play and own the feeling than you are into the game. You are part of one and in your hands is to make a change. You are passing, you score, you play! You do what you love to do and what you have become though summer practices in strand and running tracks. Isn't it the most beautiful feeling than you have a voice and you know than you are gonna play next and next game? If I might have this feeling, I might be the best goalkeeper in World for sure. It's okej to share a place with someone but, I think, it's not okej than you don't get a feedback what should you do better and it's not okej than you don't get an acceptable answer why not you. And it feels like I am fighting alone. Falling down and rising up. Everytime. I haven't give up. I am still fighting because I wanna do what I love to do- I wanna be a goalkeeper in goals. I wanna play and give my 110% in goals. It's fun to play not sit on bench, don't you think?
If you still don't understand how it feels.. imagine this- how it might feel for team coach than someone says to him than sorry, you can't be a coach today and he can't do coaching today. Coach is the one who say's to team to have fun and enjoy the game but how it might feel for him than he is not allowed to be with team but he have to sit on public podium together with fans? I bet after the game he might be said- yes, that was okej to be aside, but I really wanted to be together with players and do coaching, because that's what I love to do.
Well, don't you think I hate myself seeing crying like a small baby about things I can't change? I do. I feel silly. I understand. I am trying to. I am still fighting. And I will fight! I wanna play! I wanna fight together with those girls who are thinking to quit after this season and I wanna bring gold home to Gotland together with them and for them! Even if coach put me on bench I will be here with them. I will suport and give my voice. I will be here beside, close and next to you. If we want to win this game it will take a courage from barley first minute until the end of game. And as Halle said we have to give our 110% tomorrow. Each of us is a star with her's own best sides and skills which putting together made us as a best Team in World. but only working together and putting trust to each other shoulders made us The One. And we are! If we wanna be the best Team in World as we said, we have to win every opponent. I heard someone said than we looked quite scared and unsure at first game. But not tomorrow, right? Trust the person who is standing/ sitting next to you. Trust her when you give your pass to her. Trust yourself than you are gonna score. Trust her than she is gonna save the goal, but don't be too careless(slarvig) in front of goal and take a shoot on yourself. Together! Don't act like a star- be one! But remember than Universe is made of stars. And that's what we are. We are Universe and we are gonna get our glow at Malmo Arena!
It's our time to Shine!
Ch.Lauma
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