Depression

I ache for this day to end. Fall asleep and hope for no tomorrow. 'cause everyday is exactly the same.
No job at the moment. Have sent apply to 4 companies in Sweden, 1 to Switzerland and one to Norway.
I bet they have vacation.. Have to find new accommodation, but don't know where will I be working.

Miss my family. Christmas dinner. Being all together. Last time I remember us like that was far 2007.
Dad and one sister in Latvia, other sister moving from Sweden to Latvia in 3 weeks period, twinsister is in USA and mom in Switzerland. I am stuck here in Sweden between depression and faith. Seems like I cant find joy anywhere. Today I smiled because a child smiled at me. Why it's so tough!?

Alone. Walls I had built around me was just a trick of mind. I don't want to be alone. I wanna trust people, get hurt and trust again. I want to be their choice even if I am just 2nd one.

I miss home. badly.
I don't have a home.
I have just a shelter.

Ch.Lauma